Perpetual Chaos

The future prevailed, our lives de-railed,

The sturm and drang of it, no siren sang of it.

And everything that came before and after

was no disaster and certainly

couldn't plaster the deep, deep, wound

that left us sitting raw and stinging.

With ears ringing, we couldn't hear the song

designed to cheer, because it couldn't be composed.

It does not exist, so we continue to try to resist the iron fist

that everyone knows, can slap up against your grief

and give no small relief, to the constant happy clap-clapping,

of the ones who don't know the feeling.

The consistent reeling, while the cracks

of the existential whip continue to trip us.

But there it is in black and white,

no imminent warning to herald the morning,

the mourning that will never cease.

Snow White in the City - a poem

Snow White

in the city lights

just dreaming

of those moonlit nights

swapping stars for stars,

and cars for acres

of wild and free

but these dreams

can no longer comfort bring

outside the birds still sing

in concrete trees,

no rest on wires of string

but the song carries through

the smoky air and passes it

to those who care

and those who don't

and kicks the ass

of those who won't.

While in another time, another day

A Monkey Puzzle Tree

who'll never have his say

stands solitary

in majestically dignified

defiant self-defense.

Hello Goodbye

Yes she's coming to town, today. Hurray. Really, I think it is a good thing, it's truly wonderful. She no longer has to sneak in incognito, in an old raincoat and Groucho Marx nose-glasses. Walking through the front door of Ireland, welcomed and forgiven for all the evil things she has, no doubt personally, done to us over the last few centuries. Expected by some to make an apology, I think she should and it should go like this:

"Citizens of Ireland, I am so sorry for actually BEING the blade of Cromwell. Please forgive me for the terrible sin of the famine. I was a twinkle in the eye of my great great Grandfather at the time. How dare I, even to have considered being a zygote, in the near proximity of Sir Walter Raleigh, who is responsible for bringing the potatoes onto our colony in the first place...." and more of that ilk.. Would she get away with mega sarcasm? I doubt it. Will I? Doubt it.

Sarcasm aside, my mother is going to be driven through all the security barriers, so that she can get to the funeral of her long time friend Maurice. He was 91 and lived a full and productive life.

Not a word about him on the radio so here is the obituary:

http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/ireland/2011/0513/1224296840528.html

On a personal note we all lived together in a house in Dublin in the early 70's. Two families together consisting of six young children, about five adults (one of them lived under the stairs)

and two college going teens. There was even a dog. The school was the Rotten Jam Sandwich - of which I retain no memories at all. Worrying considering I attended for two and a half years...allegedly.

Maurice was a stable person, an oasis in the chaos. And chaos it was. I remember. His voice was soft gutteral and gravelly. Words spoken with a humorous gravity. Smiling eyes carved into a soft lived-in wisdom face....

Smell you later.

Hi my name is Lewie. I am a attention deficit hyper-active canine who barks loudly every time I hear any noise what sounds like a knock on the door. I just love love love it when the post comes, especially junk mail, because then my misses gives it to me and I can pretend I have just caught a big rat and shred it to tiny bits. It gives her something to do afterwards when she comes and picks up the pieces and puts them in the treat box. This is where all the good stuff goes. She pretends not to see and if there is something really smelly in there, I have to get it. Being smelly is good. She calls me smelly a lot so she must really love me..

I have been here all my life. This is my house and I don’t ever want to leave. Like the time when peoples came and took away my brother and sisters one by one. We were four, then three, then two, then there was just me and my mama. Oh and the peoples too, but they weren’t cool like us. We already had fur on us, they have to make fur and then put it on them. Not so clever, but then again they are kind of cute and always try really hard to be kind.

I am starting to train her now. So far I have taught her when I need to go out in the garden.. I had to pee all over the house before she would get the message. She finally noticed that if she opened the back door I wouldn’t have to pee on the corners of the chairs and the floor. ..I love the word ‘pee’. I love peeing. When I make her take me for a walk by running around in circles with my lead in my mouth, I can pee on the trees and the lamp-post and the yummy smelly dust-bins.and, and, and another trick I used was leaving a puddle at the bottom of the stairs. She always fell for that one. That’s when I learned the socks word. I love socks. especially after she has been wearing them all day and they are warm and smelly.

I got to go now because I can smell something in the kitchen. It’s chicken. I love chicken and I love my person because she loves to cook chicken. I sit there and give her the look. I can do it real well. She always says “ok you can have a little piece with your dinner.” so I know putting thoughts in her head through my eyes is working. Chow for now, and I will smell you later.

On the grape-vine

I had been wondering what to blog about when I was presented with an over-sized electricity bill. I don't remember asking the company to 'super-size me', so I gave them a call.

I started out calm, rational and convinced I was going to 'sort this thing out, once and for all.'

Tom, an innocent fellow, just doing his job, was nice enough if not a little patronising.

"So, Ms Person", accusingly.. "you, single-handedly, have been using twice the amount of electricity than my wife and children use in my home."

Now hold on a second! I could feel the calm transforming into the beginnings of an inner hurricane. I haven't even asked my question yet. Which was to be how the frig I had all of a sudden been slammed for four big ones. I had paid the bill on time, every month, since I had switched over to the company. A meter-reading lady had come periodically to read the meter, and thought everything was above board. So why had they the need to 'estimate' the bill, as they claimed this was the reason for the extra cost?

Now I owed them back-money?! Someone was to called up on this, and Tom bless his well-trained heart, was in the firing line.

It turned that after much deliberation and antler-locking (i shouldn't be doing that, I'm a girl fer crissakes) my mistakes were these: I didn't write down the dates the meter-reader came on; should have insisted on reading my own meter; should have taken tabs on how much I was using each day; should have kept a closer eye on the billing system.... and so on... who knew?

I refuse to relinquish my basic right to want to place trust in my fellow human beings, even if they are a massive power corporation (pun intended) looking only to line the pockets of the National football leagues.

The 'little old ladies next door' are to the most part just a statistic in their corporate data-bases.....until, to be fair, and you have to be pretty bull-headed to achieve this, you manage to win over the likes of the tele-operator Tom, who it has to be said, after I had my say in the matter, has struck me a 'fair deal' with the pay-back, even though there is nothing fair about it. He even volunteered off his own back to go the extra mile and call me a few days before the bills is due. But truthfully the kind of assistance I need is to have a genius brain installed in my skull so I can make any sense of any of it. But I will allow him to think he is genuinely doing me a favor, as i think he is an innocent pawn in the larger corporate mind-game. This mind-game is actually simply, wilful neglect. I am hardy. But what about the others, this has happened to, who maybe don't have the time or energy to stand up for themselves?

I feel tricked, cheated on and used...divorcees out there - remind you of anything?

I know there are others I heard it on the grape-vine...

What to do if you're bored on a rainy Saturday.

I have decided on this rainy day to make a light comparison between:

The Eight Limbs - the core of yoga and

The Ten Commandments - the moral epicentre of the Judeo/Christian philosophy.

I am sure it has been done before but, I am about to do it again, so fasten your seat belts and put on your head-phones, pump-up the volume because this could be a slow painful ride.

Here is what I have come up with so far...

• Don't kill

The first Yama (universal moral truth) - Ahimsa - Compassion for all living things

Commandment No.6 on the tablet. - You shall not murder

• Don't steal

The third Yama. Asteya - non-stealing

Commandment No.8 - You shall not steal.

• Don't lie

The second Yama. Satya - The Commitment to Truthfulness.

Commandment No.9 - You will not bear false witness against your neighbour.

The Do's

There don't seem to be many direct do's in common. The only thing I can say about it is that there is a vague similarity between prayer and meditation. The difference is in prayer we are generally told what to pray for, in a dogmatic manner, from someone in authority

In meditation there is just you and the universe. You are taking responsibility for your own thoughts. This is not easily possible following the rules of Christianity or Judaism. Same thing to an even greater degree in Muslim and Islam. Now those are two religions some people have a problem making a distinction between.

Why am I bothering to do this? Because I am trying to find a universal truth, or is it The universal truth. One that belongs to everybody. Life is confusing enough, and I possibly very naively thought that by simplifying it with comparative study, might bring me a better sleep tonight.

Well, i could rattle on all day about it but I have to walk the dog... buy oranges, and other sundries....

Tigger too.

My mood has lifted

I don't know

if its the spring

or if it's you.

Springs are bouncy

So maybe

You are bouncy too.