Blog Time!

I was pretty blue this morning, because they were leaving. I was sinking lower and lower until, my daughter came over and gave me a hug. That's all that was needed. Just a hug. I left my hair grey as it is getting now, at the request of my son, who said my natural colour would suit me. She told me he was right, it does suit me. The reality really struck me. I am getting older. It's funny though. I felt older. Not in a bad way. This time I started acting older. Not older exactly, I am what ever age I am. I was acting my age, instead of trying to hang on to my 'lost youth'. I am getting a handle on this. I am almost half a century, fer chrissakes. So I acted. I called her boyfriend a 'young man', in jest, just to see what it would feel like. He is from Kerry and has a great sense of humour. That is why i thought i would get away with it. And I did. It felt great. I scolded my son for smoking. He told me it was not due to me that he was smoking. It was peer pressure. Kindly letting me off the hook, as he always does. What is that about parental guilt? The self blame. When I was 15, I was advised not to smoke in the house til I was 16 (the legal age?). Permission to smoke? Thanks then, ok, I will then. I think she regrets it now, when I light up in her living room she hasn't a leg to stand on. Athough I really do refrain from doing that, morally I could, kind of. But it wouldn't be very nice of me. So he ignored my advice not to smoke in my living room. But she stepped in, and he listened to her. His sister commands much more respect than I do. She is good at that. I am going to resist saying she'd be a great mother one day. She already has me booked in for baby-sitting duties. God help the poor critters!

So... scrabble, charades, some crazy video game thing i didn't understand, (just pressed the buttons and hoped for the best) , oh and i discovered I am very good at wii - golf. I didn't even try and I won. How did I do that?

Apart from thinking I was going crazy some of the time, because I am really only use to it being just me these days, I really have to say, I am glad there is an obligatory festive holiday this time of year.

A Crazy Christmas Ditty

Silent scream
that's the theme
it's all a bad dream
this Christmas scheme.

However...

It is nice to be remembered
Two months from September
You might get nice leggings
And some nog-eggings
Kissing Santa would be weird
'specially if there's a nest in his beard!

Life goes on.

I spent part of the day trying to photograph the birds at my bird feeder. They must be psychic, because every time I pointed the camera they flew away. The trouble is it is much too cold to stand around outside waiting for the perfect moment. So I threw some seeds on the flat roof outside my bedroom window, waited behind the curtain, and a sweet little Robin came onto the window sill. Alas he was too quick and was gone before I could blink. I am no Billy the Kid, that's for sure. But practice makes perfect and I am determined before the winter is out that my birdie-shooting skills will be honed.

My son had introduced me to one named Captain Beefheart, and we spent some quality time listening to the lyrics and chuckling at the humor. I am, and I know he is, sad to hear of his passing.

"Beatle Bones 'N Smokin' Stones" from the mirror man sessions has a reference to 'Strawberry fields" which is my all-time favorite Beatles song. I was weaned on the Beatles having been born during their hey-day. They were constantly on the radio and us tiny whipper-snappers used to mimic them while dancing around the kitchen.

It is a sad day for music, but on the bright side, the music will live on...

I haven't been very diligent about keeping this blog up-dated. I usually think of something to say when away from the computer, by the time I get to it it's gone. So for now you are going to have to settle for whatever I manage to come up with off the cuff. I have since figured it is better to blog anything than nothing at all.

Last year I thought life couldn't be much worse. Floods, heavy snow, my mother's cancer diagnosis, and the murder of my neighbour. I was wrong. John is still dead, my mother still has cancer and the weather is worse than ever. I know 'that's life'. The trouble is its' MY life. I am seriously trying to remain philosophical and sane through it all. It doesn't help being alone pretty much most of the time. I like being alone, but sometimes it feels like I am in the twilight zone.
When someone calls I forget how to hold a conversation, which is one reason why I am writing now. I have to keep those brain cells alive, the neurons transmitting, and have at least a semblance of communication.
I know I am sounding like 'it's all about me'. That's the great thing about this blog. It is for once 'all about me'.

Now that I have gotten all that off my chest, I feel like I might be able to move on to something more interesting next time. After all these are very interesting times we are living in.
Who knows I might even write another poem. Or post one I have already written.

Happy Holidays

Fiocle

Catalonia night

I am just a flower,
my petals will fall
caught by the ground
will be found there
assimilated, disintegrated
into the everything
of everywhere...

High Places

Up onto the roof

round the chimney tops.

Climb the highest tree

where your blood almost stops

Reposing in the branches,

read a book to make advances.

Time plays kind to your day

then you can put it away

to face reality

when the sun starts sinking

the cool breeze nudges you

to what lays ahead

play dead,

don't let them under your skin,

don't let them in

you have your integrity,

into your shell you flee,

safe and warm,

safe from harm.

Down, down you go,

down there below...

sinking to the level

of the disheveled devils

who gave you the skills

...to stand still.