Late night revelers wake me once again. I could sleep through most things, even a car crashing through a wall, apparently. But when they shout at the top of their voices as if they'd just witnessed their best friend being been shot in front of them, then bang on the metal door of the little electricity hut, which sounds like a bomb exploding, might as well be in Beirut or The North during the Troubles. I am having vivid dreams these nights and every time I get woken in the middle, or maybe it is that I remember them because I am being startled awake, but then I don't get any continuity to the dreams, or conclusion, if there is such a thing as conclusion to dreams. I feel I am missing out on telling myself something important. Renders everything meaningless in a way. The other night I dreamt that Louis was lying there listless, dying. I was glad to know it was only a dream as I was concerned that maybe it had been real. Then he started retching, not actually vomiting for the best part of the following day. Last night I had another dream about being in an art class, and being given a special room to myself, and another stranger. I think it might mean I will make a new friend there. I hope so. It was an unusual room, like an old attic with dusty old relics and furniture, which we had to rearrange to make space. That in turn made us late for the registration (anxiety of being behind on the post card project possibly). I may be projecting a new friend in order to make myself feel more confident about the experience as I am quite shy in reality and am hoping that doesn't hamper my experience.
I have encouraged Louis to stay calm successfully, but I am sure he feels the same fear I do. I feel less fear and more compassion when he is with me, which is pretty much all the time.
I watched the dawn through the clouds and was not too disappointed that there was no colour to it. Then realised I needed more sleep and didn't rise again till afternoon. A little disoriented and still tired.
Becky got a kitten the other day, and I will be kitten-sitting in her apartment while she goes to the country on a well-earned break. She forgot I wanted one too, oh well. She works so hard, long hours and though she loves her work she only gets two weeks holliers a year. She is so intelligent to go with it. Louis will be going to his beloved kennels. I know he likes it there, because he comes back tired yet contented, and Karen, the owner is a very obvious animal lover. It is worth the expense so that Becky and I can both get a change of scenery, even though I am a little envious she is going to the country-side of my childhood without me, I am glad she is. We have had some wonderful experiences, paddling through the rivers and lakes in canoes, which I think was a fantastic thing for children to experience. It feels like adventuring through unexplored terrain and the ultimate experience in 'getting back to nature', so very aesthetic.
Sometimes I have more to give than others. But I will always have time to blog, says I, as it doesn't require much interaction.
I have encouraged Louis to stay calm successfully, but I am sure he feels the same fear I do. I feel less fear and more compassion when he is with me, which is pretty much all the time.
I watched the dawn through the clouds and was not too disappointed that there was no colour to it. Then realised I needed more sleep and didn't rise again till afternoon. A little disoriented and still tired.
Becky got a kitten the other day, and I will be kitten-sitting in her apartment while she goes to the country on a well-earned break. She forgot I wanted one too, oh well. She works so hard, long hours and though she loves her work she only gets two weeks holliers a year. She is so intelligent to go with it. Louis will be going to his beloved kennels. I know he likes it there, because he comes back tired yet contented, and Karen, the owner is a very obvious animal lover. It is worth the expense so that Becky and I can both get a change of scenery, even though I am a little envious she is going to the country-side of my childhood without me, I am glad she is. We have had some wonderful experiences, paddling through the rivers and lakes in canoes, which I think was a fantastic thing for children to experience. It feels like adventuring through unexplored terrain and the ultimate experience in 'getting back to nature', so very aesthetic.
Sometimes I have more to give than others. But I will always have time to blog, says I, as it doesn't require much interaction.
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