A young girl came to look after the children. Her name was Rose. She was from a neighboring parish, a remote cottage on the top of a woody hill in the boglands. She was a lovely kind person with a nice way with young children. During the course of her time in the household it became evident that she had arrived there well into a pregnancy which she was no longer able to hide. My mother was herself at the same stage of pregnancy.
Because it was Ireland in the early 1960's, the general routine was to send her off to a Convent to have her baby and then give him or her up for adoption. It had been decided by her parents and she had been obliged to agree. A very common and very cruel law set down by the Roman Catholic church at that time, and utiliszed by communities who had been brain-washed by their local parish priests into thinking they would go to hell for rebelling. The ten commandments had nothing to do with it. Hell, most of them couldn't even read rendering it impossible to even break away intellectually from the status quo of the sermons preached to them every Sunday. The power of the church!
My father had been the chosen one to do the dirty deed. He had to drive and leave her there, his heart breaking slowly with every mile. When he entered he was ushered into the Mother Superior's office and given the third degree. It was assumed he had fathered the child and was now renegading on his responsibilities. There was no way he could convince her otherwise. My parents already had four children under the age of six and were on the cusp of a fifth. It would have been an enormous task to take on a sixth and their mother, so I guess he felt she could at least carve out some kind of decent future without the burden of being a single mother in a society who treated such as out-casts and hurled them into social isolation. It was easy for me to say, in the modern day 1990's that what he did was wrong, but times were very different then. My instinct was to ask my father why Rose and the baby couldn't have lived with us as one of the family. Even then it was a question I didn't dare broach. I didn't want him to think I was disapproving of him as a human being, considering he assisted in something which at the time was the 'right thing to do'. I know for a fact that it is been haunting him ever since.
I heard later I think from a local or family member that when the daughter (the baby was a girl) finally grew up she went on a search for her mother and that they had been re-united in England. Rose had met and married a local boy and they had taken off in search for a better life. I also believe they had several children between them. On top of that it is also rumoured that the lad she married was also the father of the adopted child.
I want to write the story of Rose, with her permission, and let the world know the true story of a very bitter event. She had been a loving and tender influence on us all. She even saved my youngest brother's life during a car crash which left my grandmother in a wheel chair and the other two siblings in hospital with severe bruising. My youngest brother had been sitting on her knee in the front seat without a seat belt and how ever she had held him, had protected him from injury. Considering she had a hidden pregnancy at the time, it was amazing she came through it without losing her own baby.
I need to add that the crash was not the fault of my grandmother who was driving the car, but another car had crossed the road, fast, taken a left turn and slammed into the side of the stationary vehicle, hosting my loved ones, which had been waiting for the coast to clear before heading onto the main road.
My search for Rose begins in earnest soon, and I really hope I find her in good health and happy.
Because it was Ireland in the early 1960's, the general routine was to send her off to a Convent to have her baby and then give him or her up for adoption. It had been decided by her parents and she had been obliged to agree. A very common and very cruel law set down by the Roman Catholic church at that time, and utiliszed by communities who had been brain-washed by their local parish priests into thinking they would go to hell for rebelling. The ten commandments had nothing to do with it. Hell, most of them couldn't even read rendering it impossible to even break away intellectually from the status quo of the sermons preached to them every Sunday. The power of the church!
My father had been the chosen one to do the dirty deed. He had to drive and leave her there, his heart breaking slowly with every mile. When he entered he was ushered into the Mother Superior's office and given the third degree. It was assumed he had fathered the child and was now renegading on his responsibilities. There was no way he could convince her otherwise. My parents already had four children under the age of six and were on the cusp of a fifth. It would have been an enormous task to take on a sixth and their mother, so I guess he felt she could at least carve out some kind of decent future without the burden of being a single mother in a society who treated such as out-casts and hurled them into social isolation. It was easy for me to say, in the modern day 1990's that what he did was wrong, but times were very different then. My instinct was to ask my father why Rose and the baby couldn't have lived with us as one of the family. Even then it was a question I didn't dare broach. I didn't want him to think I was disapproving of him as a human being, considering he assisted in something which at the time was the 'right thing to do'. I know for a fact that it is been haunting him ever since.
I heard later I think from a local or family member that when the daughter (the baby was a girl) finally grew up she went on a search for her mother and that they had been re-united in England. Rose had met and married a local boy and they had taken off in search for a better life. I also believe they had several children between them. On top of that it is also rumoured that the lad she married was also the father of the adopted child.
I want to write the story of Rose, with her permission, and let the world know the true story of a very bitter event. She had been a loving and tender influence on us all. She even saved my youngest brother's life during a car crash which left my grandmother in a wheel chair and the other two siblings in hospital with severe bruising. My youngest brother had been sitting on her knee in the front seat without a seat belt and how ever she had held him, had protected him from injury. Considering she had a hidden pregnancy at the time, it was amazing she came through it without losing her own baby.
I need to add that the crash was not the fault of my grandmother who was driving the car, but another car had crossed the road, fast, taken a left turn and slammed into the side of the stationary vehicle, hosting my loved ones, which had been waiting for the coast to clear before heading onto the main road.
My search for Rose begins in earnest soon, and I really hope I find her in good health and happy.
No comments:
Post a Comment