Smell you later.

Hi my name is Lewie. I am a attention deficit hyper-active canine who barks loudly every time I hear any noise what sounds like a knock on the door. I just love love love it when the post comes, especially junk mail, because then my misses gives it to me and I can pretend I have just caught a big rat and shred it to tiny bits. It gives her something to do afterwards when she comes and picks up the pieces and puts them in the treat box. This is where all the good stuff goes. She pretends not to see and if there is something really smelly in there, I have to get it. Being smelly is good. She calls me smelly a lot so she must really love me..

I have been here all my life. This is my house and I don’t ever want to leave. Like the time when peoples came and took away my brother and sisters one by one. We were four, then three, then two, then there was just me and my mama. Oh and the peoples too, but they weren’t cool like us. We already had fur on us, they have to make fur and then put it on them. Not so clever, but then again they are kind of cute and always try really hard to be kind.

I am starting to train her now. So far I have taught her when I need to go out in the garden.. I had to pee all over the house before she would get the message. She finally noticed that if she opened the back door I wouldn’t have to pee on the corners of the chairs and the floor. ..I love the word ‘pee’. I love peeing. When I make her take me for a walk by running around in circles with my lead in my mouth, I can pee on the trees and the lamp-post and the yummy smelly dust-bins.and, and, and another trick I used was leaving a puddle at the bottom of the stairs. She always fell for that one. That’s when I learned the socks word. I love socks. especially after she has been wearing them all day and they are warm and smelly.

I got to go now because I can smell something in the kitchen. It’s chicken. I love chicken and I love my person because she loves to cook chicken. I sit there and give her the look. I can do it real well. She always says “ok you can have a little piece with your dinner.” so I know putting thoughts in her head through my eyes is working. Chow for now, and I will smell you later.