Suffocated by my inability to function in the way I think I need to. Need and want are two words I can't differentiate between right now. Shackled to the spot, pinned down by my inability to clarify the how's of what needs to be done. Inside a brown paper bag trying to punch my way out. Like one of those dreams where I am walking along but not making any progress. My ambition to do Nothing was a false ideal. There is something important I need to do, I know what it is, but there are barriers preventing me. I make a plea for assistance but find I am calling into a void, a vacuum. Where are those who said: "Just holler if you need me?". Just a distance echo of long ago. Somewhere my karma lost it's way.
I am always there when asked for. But to get something back is too much to ask. I don't ask anything for myself. I ask for the one who gave me life, who's own is fading, who needs me.
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